[No, the journey doesn't end here.]
Jul. 31st, 2010 09:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bibliothekara[E Has Left The Project Team]
[E is a student again]
[End of line] (?)
So. That happened. Two of the most emotional days in my relatively short experience, and that was only the end of one thing. With the beginning of something else still to come. To retreat to my half an English degree, I'm feeling very liminal right now.
My office ( my office that was) likes any excuse to throw a party, I think, and my departure was it. But it was more than that, I think. We were 6 people, out on a separate campus from the rest of the university, connected by phone and email, but isolated just the same. Shoved together, we somehow clicked beautifully. Not elegant; busting chops, as in any New Jersey office, was our lingua franca. As my TV-tropes-obsessed brain might put it, we were a nakama, a team, for nearly three years. They were my first experience of gainful employment, and as I told them truthfully, I could not have had any better team-mates.
Because, I'll confide something to you, dear readers: I have an evil brain some times. It'll yell "screw-up" and "weirdo" at me constantly at high volume, telling me "People don't really like you. They just put up with you." And then, I have friends, and family, and friends that are family, who say "E's brain, you shut up now please."
My work computer's desktop, for the past year, has been a map of the Discworld. I had the Three Rules for The Librarians of Time and Space on my wall. I would occasionally babble about it if asked. And a month ago, Coworker M, out of the blue, asked me, "Who's a better character, the Librarian or Ridcully?" I answered to the best of my abilities.
Fastforward to Thursday, and me holding in my hands an Unseen University soccer jersey, with "Librarian" on the back.
*dissolves into squishy emotional jelly*
And now it's over, and I'm not going to wake up Monday and putter into our tiny public-pool-locker-room looking office, say "good morning" or snark about something. I'll see them, I'll keep in contact, but something fundamental has changed.
I'm staring forward at something completely new in my life, in myriad different ways, and I don't know at all how it's going to work out. *see entry title* Maybe thinking of it as a quest, with an end, will help. Only the orcs are more subtle, and there's no magic ring, just a piece of paper saying "Master's Degree".
Well, at least New Brunswick is not where the shadows lie, as far as I'm aware.
I hereby step my foot onto the road. Which, as they say, does tend to go ever on and on.
[E is a student again]
[End of line] (?)
So. That happened. Two of the most emotional days in my relatively short experience, and that was only the end of one thing. With the beginning of something else still to come. To retreat to my half an English degree, I'm feeling very liminal right now.
My office ( my office that was) likes any excuse to throw a party, I think, and my departure was it. But it was more than that, I think. We were 6 people, out on a separate campus from the rest of the university, connected by phone and email, but isolated just the same. Shoved together, we somehow clicked beautifully. Not elegant; busting chops, as in any New Jersey office, was our lingua franca. As my TV-tropes-obsessed brain might put it, we were a nakama, a team, for nearly three years. They were my first experience of gainful employment, and as I told them truthfully, I could not have had any better team-mates.
Because, I'll confide something to you, dear readers: I have an evil brain some times. It'll yell "screw-up" and "weirdo" at me constantly at high volume, telling me "People don't really like you. They just put up with you." And then, I have friends, and family, and friends that are family, who say "E's brain, you shut up now please."
My work computer's desktop, for the past year, has been a map of the Discworld. I had the Three Rules for The Librarians of Time and Space on my wall. I would occasionally babble about it if asked. And a month ago, Coworker M, out of the blue, asked me, "Who's a better character, the Librarian or Ridcully?" I answered to the best of my abilities.
Fastforward to Thursday, and me holding in my hands an Unseen University soccer jersey, with "Librarian" on the back.
*dissolves into squishy emotional jelly*
And now it's over, and I'm not going to wake up Monday and putter into our tiny public-pool-locker-room looking office, say "good morning" or snark about something. I'll see them, I'll keep in contact, but something fundamental has changed.
I'm staring forward at something completely new in my life, in myriad different ways, and I don't know at all how it's going to work out. *see entry title* Maybe thinking of it as a quest, with an end, will help. Only the orcs are more subtle, and there's no magic ring, just a piece of paper saying "Master's Degree".
Well, at least New Brunswick is not where the shadows lie, as far as I'm aware.
I hereby step my foot onto the road. Which, as they say, does tend to go ever on and on.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-07-31 04:52 pm (UTC)And your journey is a quest , of sorts, for knowledge and understanding..of yourself and what you want to do with your life. But you're moving on and not just staying in one place and doing the same things over and over because you're afraid of the 'new'..which is a sticky trap that the in-laws have fallen into and will never get out of. (And yes, that sentence ended on a preposition..my bad!)
Good luck and keep us posted about all your adventures! *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-07-31 06:16 pm (UTC)Good luck comes through hard work, so I'm sure your luck will be stellar.
Also, I'm nearly 50 and that voice you were talking about, is still there. It's quieter now, but you'll always be your own worst critic. Let your friends point of view permeate when you can.
*hugs*