no one in front of me and nothing behind
Oct. 24th, 2009 02:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bibliothekaraOkay, I'm trying to venture out onto the moor, even though I'm mentally shaking. I know that the dragon is only in my head. He's only in my head.
And yes, I'm a drama queen. Background, because I haven't been much for the personal posts on this here LJ, but I must vent: I've been living at home for the last two years, but I have a Plan. The Plan, is that once I've saved up enough, I move out, to (what looks right now to be) Philly, New Brunswick, or Boston. Go get my MLIS, and move out on my own. Which I need to do, really truly, love my family though I do, because complacency is bad, y'all. I've saved up enough right now, through the grace of my wonderful mother, that I think Sept. 2010 is the target date. Which means Feb.1 is zero hour. So I really need to start doing this thing.
I bit the bullet, I have all the information in front of me, printed out. I have a folder. I HAZ A FOLDER. (Folders are important.) I have the GRE score. All of the College's Registrar shit is online now. I have two wonderful bosses at The Project who've said they'll write rec letters fore me. This can happen, it will happen.
So why am I so fucking terrified?
Because I am, also, sadly, a sincere and incredibly neurotic pussy who fears change. I spin in my head, for everything in my life, ways it can go wrong, ways I can fuck it up.
Must repeat to self: I can do this. I *can* do this. This is not a bad thing.
fuck, shite and buggerall.
And yes, I'm a drama queen. Background, because I haven't been much for the personal posts on this here LJ, but I must vent: I've been living at home for the last two years, but I have a Plan. The Plan, is that once I've saved up enough, I move out, to (what looks right now to be) Philly, New Brunswick, or Boston. Go get my MLIS, and move out on my own. Which I need to do, really truly, love my family though I do, because complacency is bad, y'all. I've saved up enough right now, through the grace of my wonderful mother, that I think Sept. 2010 is the target date. Which means Feb.1 is zero hour. So I really need to start doing this thing.
I bit the bullet, I have all the information in front of me, printed out. I have a folder. I HAZ A FOLDER. (Folders are important.) I have the GRE score. All of the College's Registrar shit is online now. I have two wonderful bosses at The Project who've said they'll write rec letters fore me. This can happen, it will happen.
So why am I so fucking terrified?
Because I am, also, sadly, a sincere and incredibly neurotic pussy who fears change. I spin in my head, for everything in my life, ways it can go wrong, ways I can fuck it up.
Must repeat to self: I can do this. I *can* do this. This is not a bad thing.
fuck, shite and buggerall.
