bibliothekara

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. All members of the BAU belong to Mark Gordon, Ed Bernero, et al; all members of the NCIS Major Case Squad belong to Belisarius and Shane Brennan.
Rating: FRC (complete and utter silliness)
Spoilers: Nothing explicit; general up to the end of CM Season 4 and NCIS Season 6.
Genres: Crossover (NCIS/Criminal Minds); Humor
Characters: Tim McGee, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo; Emily Prentiss, Dave Rossi, Derek Morgan.
Pairings: None
Timeframe: Set some time before both CM 4.25/26 "To Hell and Back" and NCIS, 6.25, "Aliyah"

Note: Written originally as a birthday present for

melliyna .
Prompt/Summary: "Uncle Dave is cranky about cooperating with NCIS and there is pronoun confusion."

**************************

Tim McGee *heard* the three G-Men before he saw them. At least one of them, anyway. Though when they finally rounded the corner into the bullpen, he mentally corrected himself. 2 G-Men, one G-Woman.

One very attractive G-Woman, though he would never have said it out loud. He wasn't Tony, after all.

The older of the two men was speaking in the kind of stage whisper which wasn't really a whisper at all. "I'm just saying, with three civilian victims already, I don't see why we were the ones who had to truck all the way up here."

The younger man smirked and just shook his head. "You were born, at the age of 55, weren't you, Rossi?"

"Damn straight."

The tall brunette had listened amused to the preceding conversation, and now seemed to see her opportunity to join in.

"Aw, Morgan, leave him alone, you know how much Rossi hates DC traffic."

The curmudgeon cracked a smile for the first time. "I really, really do. DuPont Circle has been the bane of my existence for years."

"Well, if you had let Prentiss bring a map..."

"I said I hated it, I didn't say I couldn't handle it."

The trio had now reached the edge of the bullpen. The duly identified Morgan and Prentiss looked at each other, and then broke into simultaneous laughter. Tim took advantage of the pause, and rose up from his desk.

"Hi, you must be from the BAU, right? I'm Tim McGee. SSA Jareau let me know you guys were coming."

While she didn't stop smiling, Prentiss seemed to turn on SSA-mode nearly instantaneously. All business now.

"Nice to meet you, Agent McGee, I'm SSA Emily Prentiss, and these are SSAs Derek Morgan, and David Rossi."

Handshakes were duly exchanged, but when he got to Rossi, the older agent held on a second longer then necessary, the wheels obviously turning behind his eyes.

"I've seen you before. Where have I seen you before? "

Then a spark of recognition was obvious. Tim gave an inward 'oh, heck.'

"Ha. Thom E. Gemcity. Tim McGee. Nice one, kid. I like your stuff. Good plane reading. The dialogue's nothing to write home about, but your plots are pretty good."

Tim tried very hard to ignore the backhanded compliment buried in there, and decided to try to change the subject. "The rest of my team's out interviewing a witness right now, and Agent Gibbs is up in MTAC, but he should be down soon."

Rossi's good humor evaporated.

"Gibbs? As in Leroy, Jethro, *Gibbs*?"

"Yes, sir."

Rossi's face bore a mixture of exasperation and determination. "Excuse me for a minute please." He then, despite Tim's feeble protests about classified info and security clearances, headed up the stairs in doubletime.

McGee turned back to Morgan and Prentiss. "I guess they know each other?" He motioned them towards the spare chairs in front of the plasma, and they each took a seat.

Morgan looked perturbed, but Prentiss just looked bemused again. "That would seem to be the case."

"Em, if Rossi gets into a pissing match..."

"Morgan, it'll be fine. He may talk a good game, but he's just annoyed 'cause Mom told him he had to share and play nicely with the other children."

McGee wondered if he had fallen into a LeCarre novel in the last 5 seconds. His face must have betrayed his confusion, because Prentiss took pity on him.

"Our Unit Chief. Aaron Hotchner. Maybe I should give you his number. He's sometimes the only one who can talk Dave down when he's on a roll like this."

Tim nodded thoughtfully. "Totally understand. Boss tends to have that effect on people."

McGee realized later what his fatal mistake had been; it had been placing all three of them with their backs to the staircase. He should have known better.

"*What* effect on people, McGee?"

The three junior agents froze. McGee looked over at Morgan and Prentiss, mouthing 'He *always* does that', before turning around.

There, on the stairway, stood Gibbs, arms crossed. Rossi was standing next to him, with what could only be described as a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Oh, is there really any answer the kid could give that would satisfy you, Jethro?"

"Not really, Dave, no."

Prentiss started to smile, but a pointed look from Rossi quashed that. " 'Talk him down'? You do remember I wrote the *book* on hostage negotiations, right?"

Prentiss rolled her eyes, but stayed silent.

The ping of the elevator defused the situation, and McGee thought he had never been so happy to see Tony DiNozzo in his entire life.

"Ah, the G-Men are here. Great."

Hallelujah, his sarcasm had distracted Gibbs."DiNozzo?"

"Share well, place nicely with others, got it boss. Anyway, I think Ducky and Abby want to see us...*all* of us, I guess."

Ah, the pacifying power of the forensics team. Nothing like it, thought McGee as he followed the three profilers to the elevator.

*fin*